ON FINAL APPROACH TO LAP 72
It must be true that, as one gets older, it’s only natural to become more introspective. I’m looking back at the days behind me and pondering what they mean for the days to come.
Let’s face it, there are a lot more days behind me than in front of me, right?
First, let’s look at the past year. After two years of testosterone suppression for prostate cancer, I received my last injection in February. My PSA has been effectively “0”. Right up until a very slight rise in October. That could be bad, or it could be nothing, certainly nothing good. I’ve been through surgery, radiation and the suppression therapy I just mentioned. Only God knows what that portends. I have to trust Him. The doctor has noted the increase but decided that the 6-month review and blood work is appropriate. Six months is the normal review period after every four-month exams I started after the surgery, etc.
Remember that I said that I needed to trust in God?
In October, in fact the weekend before I learned that prostate cancer may have raised its ugly head, I did something that I would not have even considered a few years ago and went on a retreat. The invitation came out of the blue from one of the last people I would have expected, but whom I now regard as a brother. I will not go into detail about that weekend; however, because I think that it is something best approached in faith. What I will say is that, to use an overused phrase, it changed my life in ways I never would have imagined. Turns out that things I learned during that retreat enabled me to learn about my cancer’s return with a calm peace that I cannot describe to you very well.
Remember when you were little, when you fell, that someone, hopefully a parent, would pick you up and tell you that it would be alright? Maybe they provided some minor first aid for your scraped knee or elbow, which also contributed to making you feel better?
I learned just how much God--my Heavenly Father—loves me and reassures me that it will be alright. I learned that there are lots of likeminded people out there ready to help raise my spirit. Men I never knew before, whom I now refer to as “brother”, are going to their Creator and asking Him to heal me.
It’s a good thing, because, even as I write, my heart is in atrial fibrillation. This is something I have experienced in years gone by. Heaven only knows what triggered it, and what had before only lasted a day or so, has been going on for 9 days as I write this. It’s the most common type of heart arrhythmia and I’m told that lots of people walk around with their hearts doing what I call the “AFIB boogie”. The danger is that a stroke becomes more possible . The cardiologist has me on a drug to slow down my heart and blood thinners to minimize the risk of a stroke. I hope (and pray!) that the drug stops the arrhythmia and that I do not have to go through the procedure to have my heart rhythm shocked (literally) back to normal. The blood thinners I am not thrilled about, but I can see the benefits.
It happens every day that some person is about to go into a medical procedure and that they are healed before it starts. That, my readers, can only be a miracle. There never seems to be a medical reason for the change, at least not one the doctors can explain. Even confirmed atheists cannot explain such “coincidences”.
For the record, by the way, I no longer believe in coincidences. No such thing exists!
Also, this February, I am facing cataract surgery. I’m pretty calm about that, too. We will see how I am in the new year. I’m looking forward to being able to see clearly!
So that is what I am facing as I approach my 72’nd lap around the Sun. I have no idea what it means for my next lap, but I am sure that I have but to “be still” and know that God is there and that lots of people are asking Him to heal me.
I’ll update you as I start the next lap. And, I think, it will be more of my usual stream of questionable consciousness...
Comments
Post a Comment